If you ever wondered what it feels like to be absolutely shattered before Monday’s first cuppa, look no further. Here I am, propped up on the sofa, clutching the world’s strongest tea, and already dreaming of Friday, except this week, Friday isn’t just the finish line. It’s a day before Rodger the Dodger’s official eviction. That’s right, the countdown is on, and if you think I’m handling it with the poise of a Zen master, you’d be hilariously wrong.

I woke up this morning with that feeling you get when you’ve been hit by a bus, except the bus reversed over me for good measure, then beeped and told me to smile. The highlight so far? Managing to put my knickers on the right way round, which, frankly, is an underrated victory. I’ve lost so much weight recently, even my tits have gone into hiding; honestly, at this point, I’d need a pair of tweezers and Google Maps just to find them. You’d think knowing Rodger the Dodger is being served with an eviction notice would fill me with joy. And yet, here I am, exhausted, slightly delirious, and convinced the universe is waiting to lob one last custard pie my way before the week is out. Five days left, and Rodger’s still draining Matthew’s energy like a tantrumming toddler at bedtime.

So, wish me luck as I embark on this week of countdown chaos. If you need me, I’ll be the one propped up by caffeine and sarcasm, plotting Rodger’s grand exit and hoping that, for once, Monday behaves itself. Five days to go. Let’s see what comedy gold the universe has in store for me this week.

There is one positive, though. I am improving my A.I artist skills, and our comic is looking so much better each day, whoooo! Okay, let the day commence and let’s see what shit hits the fan today? Oh wait, it already has with a website that is down…. I told ya I couldn’t make this shit up!

Any-Hoo

Chow for Now

Kate x