🧠Your Body Remembers Before Your Mind Does
Living with Trauma, PTSD and the Power of Feeling Safe
First, I want to say sorry for being a little quiet these past few weeks. Running our community centre keeps life wonderfully busy, but whenever I can, I like to share these moments with you. I believe that opening up about our experiences—our struggles, our healing, our stories of PTSD, past abuse, and living with fibromyalgia—helps us grow. And if sharing my journey brings even a little light or comfort to yours, then it is worth every word.
The Wedding That Brought It All Back
This weekend, I had the joy of attending the wedding of one of our team members. It was such a beautiful occasion, and for me personally, it felt like a milestone. I’ve lost over four stone recently, and for the first time in ages, I could wear a dress I felt truly proud of. People kept telling me I looked healthy, bright, and full of life—and I felt ready.
On the morning of the wedding, I got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and reached for a packet of stick-on false nails—quick, easy, and no risk of chipped polish. But as soon as I started to fix them in place, my hands began to tremble.
At first, I wondered, why? I was safe, I was happy, everything was fine… so why was my body reacting like this? I’ve learned over time that when our nervous system goes into “fight or flight” mode, the best way forward is to ask ourselves gentle questions. So I asked: Why am I shaking? What is my body trying to tell me
Then it clicked.
Sixteen years ago, the last time I prepared for a wedding, the night before the event, my abusive ex-partner broke into my home and stood over me while I slept. Since that day, I have been to christenings, funerals, and gatherings—but never once to a wedding.
My mind hadn’t made the connection straight away. But my body remembered!
Your Body Keeps the Score
This is something I’ve learned again and again: your body remembers trauma before your mind catches up.
It acts almost like a protective shield—your conscious mind doesn’t immediately bring the fear or memory to the surface, but your nervous system holds the pattern. It recognises the same routine, the same feelings, and reacts accordingly.
I saw this happen again just a few weeks ago. It was the fourth anniversary of my son’s best friend taking his own life—he was so young! I felt heavy and sad all day, but I couldn’t explain why until my son reminded me of the date. Again, my body felt the weight, long before my mind placed the memory.
The Power of “You Are Safe”
On the morning of the wedding, once I realised what was happening, I turned to my husband Matthew. I told him what I had worked out, and he simply held me and said, “You are safe. You are always safe with me.”
Hearing those words out loud made all the difference. My mind finally caught up with my body, and slowly the shaking faded. I didn’t feel perfect or completely calm, but I felt grounded. I stayed through the whole celebration, hand in hand with him, and it turned into a beautiful, happy day.
That moment rewrote the story. For sixteen years, “getting ready for a wedding” meant fear. Now, it means joy, connection, and safety.
What This Means For You
If you live with trauma, PTSD, or chronic illness, you will have these moments. You might feel anxious, shaky, or low for no clear reason. Please know: it is not your imagination, and it is not a failure.
Here is what helps me:
âś… Pause and ask questions: Why am I feeling this way? Is this a memory, or something new?
âś… Notice your body: It is giving you honest signals.
✅ Find your safe person: Someone who can say, “You are safe now” and help you reset.
✅ Be patient: Healing doesn’t mean the memory disappears—it means you learn to live alongside it.
I have spent years in therapy, learning, and growing. Today I have a wonderful life: a loving home, my amazing family, and the privilege of running our community centre, which supports hundreds of people every week. Trauma does not have to define your future—it just becomes part of your story.
A New Beginning
That wedding gave me a beautiful new memory to replace the old one. Now, whenever I prepare for a celebration, my body will learn: This is safe. This is happy.
If anything I’ve shared resonates with you, please take it, use it, and be gentle with yourself. You are stronger than you know, and you are never alone.
Wishing you all a beautiful, safe, and hopeful day.
I leave my love with you today,
Your friend for the journey,
Kate x
Mrs Katy Batten BA (Hons) ( Pronouns: She/Her), International Best Selling Author and Admin Management of New Pasture Lane Community Centre, Registered Charity No 700422.
DISCLAIMER: These blog posts are in no way, shape, or form to provide any professional advice and are for entertainment purposes only. The author/s take no personal responsibility or liability for any person/s who chooses to use the methods in their own lives.
