I was banned from the kitchen on Friday; let me tell you why. So, as you may recall, Mary Magrain made me lose my marbles enough to lose my socks last week, and then they turned up in my handbag 3 hours later. Well, to add to my problems, the new medication that the quacks have placed me on to keep her at bay, don’t get me wrong, it is starting to work, and I can feel the release starting to happen daily…BUT! Y’all know that this is me here, so there’s gotta be a big frigging BUT… there are side effects for the first few weeks of taking the medication until my system becomes used to it.

Don’t worry, I didn’t shit myself or anything, but I did have the shakes, and my hands and body were shaking like I had been up all night drinking a bottle of vodka through a straw; it was bloody terrible! So that was it, the jokes from the staff began… I was banned from the kitchen in case I threw peas at the customers, to which I added: “It would be one way of serving 25 customers at once; they may only get 1-2 peas each, but at least it is job done!”

Soon, we’re all in fits of laughter, cackling like a coven on karaoke night. Sam suggested that, in the event of a war or even a zombie apocalypse, we’d all ram pharmacies or hospitals with shopping trolleys to stock up on prescriptions. Yes, forget food! Forget clothes! Forget shelter! Think MEDS! Because let’s face it: when you hit a certain age, your meds list is longer than the terms and conditions on a mobile contract. Seriously, if the world ends, you better hope you’ve got a quid for the trolley, or else you’re fighting off the undead with a basket and a bag for life. 

​Anyway, back to the peas. I’m banned until my shakes settle down, but on the bright side, I’ve been told there’s good money in hand jobs (For painting and decorating, you filthy lot!)

Matthew is still awaiting news of the location of Blads hole. I tell you, we could definitely win an award for waiting after all of this, because by now we have become experts at it. Until then, he is still on painkillers, resting and doing next to nothing, which is still driving him nuts.

The day life returns to normal, I think we will have forgotten what normal is ….

Here’s to a new week; what could go right?  Mmmmmm we shall see?

Have a great Monday my friends.

Much Love

Kate x

Disclaimer: No peas, customers, or shopping trolleys were harmed in the making of this blog. Any resemblance to actual zombies, migraine sufferers, or vodka-swigging with a straw is purely coincidental. Consult your doctor before attempting to serve peas in a crowded room when you have medication-induced shakes. Side effects may include laughter, eye-rolling, and an uncontrollable urge to check your handbag for missing socks.