If you thought your Mondays were wild, wait ‘til you hear what goes on in the men’s toilets when the lights go out and the doors swing shut. That’s right, folks: it’s time for another episode from everyone’s favorite cleaning crusader—Dazzling Dutchess Debbie!

Picture this: it’s a Monday night, and the men’s urinal is positively buzzing. Not with bees, not with flies, but with… pubes. Yes, you read that right. A full-blown follicle fiesta, a hair-raising hootenanny, a bristly bash in the u-bend. If you could sew them all together, you’d have enough for a full-grown tupa (that’s a toupee with extra attitude).

Debbie knows the drill. Every Friday, it’s cleaning day, and by then the u-bend is hosting a community so dense, you’d think it was a pube pride parade. Monday: the first arrivals. By Wednesday, they’re putting up banners and booking the DJ. Come Friday, it’s standing room only, well, if pubes had legs, that is.

But alas, the party can’t last forever. Enter Dazzling Duchess Debbie, the Party Pooper armed with rubber gloves, bleach, and an industrial-strength sense of duty; she bursts onto the scene. The pubes scatter, but it’s too late. The u-bend conga line is over. Debbie’s here to do what must be done.

So next time you’re in the gents and you wonder who keeps those pipes sparkling, remember: it’s D.D. Debbie, breaking up the pube parties one follicle at a time. And if you’re lucky, you might just catch her mid-cha-cha with a mop.

Stay tuned for more tales from the trenches of public toilet maintenance. And remember, party responsibly; Debbie’s always watching!

Chow for now!

Kate x

​Stupid Disclaimer: No actual pubes were harmed in the making of this blog post. Any resemblance to real-life follicle fiestas is purely coincidental. Please don’t try to sew a tupa at home. For best results, leave all u-bend parties to the professionals (and Dazzling Dutchess Debbie).  ​