Yesterday was my last day at work before my long-awaited holiday, and I wasn’t taking any chances. I left everything in perfect order: lists as long as my arm, schedules tighter than a drum, and (most importantly) made sure SSSSSSamantha was fully loaded with deliveries of bacon, butter portions, and enough cleaning products to survive an apocalypse.

Once I’d double-checked, triple-checked, and possibly quadruple-checked that all would run smoothly in my absence, I rode off into the sunset,

Okay, technically, I walked home carrying my heavy laptop bag, handbag and other things while sweating and grunting like a pig, but let’s not ruin the image. When I got home and dumped my shit, I turned all iPhone notifications: OFF. Stress: OFF. I am officially out of office for the next 12 glorious days!

I could write more, but bollocks to it, I’m on holiday now…

Tomorrow, I’ll catch you up on Matthew’s surgery (spoiler: he’s braver than me) and, if you’re lucky, I might share a few snapshots from our holiday cottage, just to make you a little bit jealous.

Love ya, Bye!

Kate x

Disclaimer:
18+ Adult Humour. Carer malarkey + community centre mayhem, as lived by me, Kate. Not medical/legal. Brands like Dettol, Lidl, and B&M are not sponsored; I just shop there and moan to fuck about all the shit that happens in my life. © 2026 Kate Batten www.katebatten.co.uk If you steal my words and expect to get Dettol’d.

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