It’s Monday morning. Normally, at this point, I’d be embarking on the noble ritual of getting ready for work, solving the community’s issues, and solving problems like the fucking awesome sauce leader I am.  However, NOT TODAY!  Yes! My dear reader, I am not going into work this morning. Instead, I am in a holiday cottage so remote that even the sheep look lost, and it’s fucking fabulous!

Matthew went into hospital on Saturday morning to have Rodger evicted (YYaayyy). The medical marvels that they are, the NHS kicked him out by late afternoon, presumably so he wouldn’t start redecorating the ward with his opinions on how shite daytime telly is.

On his arrival at the cottage, I’d prepared myself for drama worthy of EastEnders: Matthew coming through the door, pale and fragile, to be carried to the bed by his parents. Instead, he strode in looking suspiciously well, only pausing to ask what was for tea?. I had to remind him that the morphine is temporary, and when it wears off, so will his enthusiasm for standing up straight.

The weekend has consisted of complete bed rest (his), expert feeding (mine), and the sort of Shitflix marathons that should come with a medical warning. The surgeon informed him that they’d performed some fairly aggressive landscaping on his bladder and thrown in a dose of chemo for good measure, like a grim party favour. The great thing is Rodger is no longer living rent-free in Matthew’s bladder.

So now, we wait. Rodger, the unwelcome guest otherwise known as his tumour, may have been evicted, but until the lab results come back, we don’t know if further treatment is needed. It’s a waiting game, which, as anyone who has ever waited for anything NHS-related will know, is a uniquely British form of torture best endured with copious amounts of tea and a healthy sense of sarcasm.

So that’s the update from the wilderness cottage. Matthew’s resting, I’m enjoying my temporary life as a country recluse, and neither of us has tried to milk a cow yet. Even though we only drink oat milk.

Progress? I’d say so…..I mean, we are in the middle of nowhere, so what could possibly happen out of the ordinary here? Then I have to remind myself, oh yeah, this is me I am writing about; give it time. We still have the rest of the week yet!.

On a serious note: Thank you to everyone who has checked in, supported us, and helped us. These last few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride of emotions, and knowing your all behind us makes life a little bit easier.

Time to go back to being a recluse. See ya!

Kate x